Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
