Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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