he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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