I'm eating all of the evidence.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize