I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
