It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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