I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
