Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
