opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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