I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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