she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
