a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
