whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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