She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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