The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
