I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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