My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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