Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
