new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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