I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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