I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
