too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
