My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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