Im at strip club and am horny
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Houston, we have a squirter
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Your cock deserves a montage
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
