What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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