seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
