Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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