What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
