GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
