I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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