We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
