Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
