Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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