Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize