I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
