Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
