a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
