I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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