I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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