Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
