I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
