I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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