Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize