I hope mine doesn't look like that
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
