What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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