My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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