if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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