The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Found your dick twin last night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
