Nicole vs. Life
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Randomize
