this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
