??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
