Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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