You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
