that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
