I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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