Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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