Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And then he peed in my hair
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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