why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
