Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
