I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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