This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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