i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
