I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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