she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
