She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
