Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
