Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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