You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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