Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
