last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
