no, he came in my armpit
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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