Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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