He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize