i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
