We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
